When is Fear Sinful?

 Isn't fear a wonderful thing? Fear is what keeps us back from a ledge, from racing down a mountain at high speeds, or walking down a trail after smelling a bear. Fear can keep us safe from danger. 

Of course, we are commanded to fear God, twenty times in Proverbs alone it talks about fearing God or extolling the fear of the Lord. That fear is showing the proper reverence for God. Respect, awe, majesty. It is not the afraid fear. After all, the only thing we should be afraid of regarding God is not having our names written in the Book of Life. 

What about the fear that grips your stomach and will not let go. The fear that makes you break out in a cold sweat just thinking about what might happen. The fear that holds you back from God's best plan for your life. The built-in safety mechanism calls us to take flight, fight, or freeze. 

God knows everything about us, including our natural fear of the unknown. That is why He gave us the flight or fight instinct. But, I have come to realize that for me, that fear of the unknown is a form of pride. It is a sin that must be dealt with. Let me explain.

When I walk into a crowded room I am always a little fearful. If it is a crowded room of strangers, I am ready to flee or freeze, depending on the situation. I think Joshua was a bit like that at first. He was Moses' right-hand man. He had all authority under Moses, he was one of two people in his generation to step into the Promised Land. He was an adult when he was sent as a spy and then wandered for forty years in the wilderness. Joshua was at least 60 by my guess when Moses died and he was put in charge. He was expected to conquer the Promised Land, lead hundreds of thousands (or more) of people, and talk to God like Moses.  Whew! I would have been terrified! Too much responsibility! Joshua did not have to say a word though. God knew his heart and encouraged Joshua most sweetly. I imagine God putting His arm around Joshua's shoulders and pointing across the river. To paraphrase God told Joshua not to worry, to get ready because we are crossing the Jordan River together. I am giving you this land, He said, just as I promised Moses. God went on to describe the territory Joshua would conquer, with God's help. Then He gave this promise "As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous." (Josh 1:5-6a). He goes on to tell Joshua, one of the mightiest men in the Bible to be strong and courageous four times in that single chapter. God does not repeat Himself without reason. Joshua needed to be reminded to be strong and courageous. 

I have come to realize that my fear is not in disobeying the Lord, it is in people. It is my pride - what if they don't like me, what if I am not smart enough, what if I  am not good enough, or articulate enough, what if I am not enough for this group or that person? My focus you see, was all on me! I was not even giving God a chance to work through me even though I said that was what I wanted. I was allowing my fear to dictate my actions. I was using being an introvert as an excuse not to be around people created by God, in His image. (Introverts usually like people, we just need time to recharge after being around them.) I need to be reminded to be strong and courageous. I promise I do not have those attributes in myself but, if I step aside, I can be strong and courageous with God's help. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 NASB, 1995)

Lord, Heavenly Father

Forgive me for taking my eyes off of You, and putting them on myself.

You command me to be strong and courageous, 

I cannot do that without Your help. 

Please give me your strength and courage. 

Thank you for encouraging me when I am discouraged,

Thank you for being with me wherever I go. 

Your promise never to leave me or forsake me is humbling, 

yet it fills me with hope and joy.

I praise Your Holy Name and pray in Jesus' name

Amen

A New Adventure Part 2: Driving down, settling in

Lynn and I had a great adventure while driving the Alcan highway. Bears and Buffalo, Ravens and Eagles, good drivers, and some no-so-good drivers. We ended up taking Duke and two of my cats. Thankfully, neither cat tried to escape and were surprisingly good travelers. Neko is a talker so we had to give her some meds to keep her quiet for part of the ride. She relaxed and watched the world go by as we moved steadily south.

Gas prices were high, very high in Canada; as much as $2.19 Canadian/liter (1 gallon is 3.78 liters) which made that stop $8.27/gallon. Fortunately the conversion rate was in our favor, but still...yikes! One of the concerns we had before leaving was getting Canadian currency. If you want Canadian money, they recommend stopping at an ATM or bank after crossing the border. We did not get any because I could use my VISA (AK Airlines miles baby!) everywhere we stopped.

Speaking of border crossings, we crossed into both the US and Canada twice on our travels. The longest we were stopped was going into Canada from Alaska. It took about 10 minutes to get through as they checked our passports and pet health certificates. They did not want to see the critters and the guard chatted pleasantly while waiting for the computer to confirm we were not a threat. The longest line was crossing into the US at Sweetwater Montana, which was close to an hour. When it was our turn it took only a couple of minutes, the same as crossing in and out of Haines. The drive from Haines Junction YT to Haines AK was beautiful. If you get a chance to go, I recommend you do so.

Edmonton AB provided the most stress for me. I had ensured all the hotels I booked accepted animals so Duke and the girls could stay with us. When we got to the hotel, they told us they did not take pets and it was too late to cancel our reservations. Trigger panic mode! I suggested Lynn take the room and I would stay in the car with the critters. She did not like that idea (go figure!). We called a dog boarding place where Duke could stay but they did not take cats. However, they recommended another place that accepted Duke and both cats on about a half-hour notice. They were truly an answer to prayer!

Salt Lake City had the worst room (by far) and also the worst traffic but it was also the last day on the road so it was not too stressful. There was rain in the mountains between St. George UT and Mesquite NV and I worried a little about flash floods. I was a few hours too soon in my concern. When we hit Ely NV the sky opened up. I am an Alaska girl; the first time I ever got behind the wheel of a car there was ice and snow on the road. I can drive through a raging snowstorm in the dark and think nothing of it but I have never driven through rain like that. I needed my wipers on full-high, for the first time ever. I was very grateful the person in front of me was driving with their hazard lights on because I could barely see the road. We found out later that it was the worst rain the area had seen in years. 

I am settling into the next chapter of life in a huge city. I love the sunshine and the much warmer temperatures. Duke and I are finding new hiking places and I have taken a two-day jaunt into Phoenix and back through Lake Havasu.

 I have found a good church and am learning to enjoy a new preaching style. They have been doing a series titled Signs and Signals based on Abraham and Sarah. It has spoken to me and my situation so much that I know it is from God. I am looking for work to get a place of my own. I have an interview tomorrow; it wouldn't be my first (or second or third) choice but it is work. I start working toward my Master's degree in Health and Wellness, emphasizing Family Dynamics on Thursday.

To You, O Lord I lift up my soul, O my God, in You I trust! (Ps 25:1)

Thank you, Heavenly Father

for bringing people into my life 

who love You and Worship You.

These brothers and sisters are precious when 

I am weary and alone.

Lift up those who are reading. Give them the desires

of their hearts that align with Your will.

Help them to see You and Your hand in all they do. 

Help them not to tire or be discouraged. 

We love You, Lord.

In Christ alone, and in His name I pray

Amen

if you are interested in photos and other details, see my facebook posts!

A New Adventure Part 1: Getting Ready

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

As many of you know I am on a new life adventure. The adventure began in earnest earlier this year when I retired from a state job. The job was getting too stressful and was no longer fulfilling.  The past couple of winters have taken their toll on my mental health, and it was time to find warmth and sunshine. My mother is at a stage in life where my brothers and I felt it was time for me to move closer. Enter Las Vegas! 

 I thought moving was going to be a fairly simple thing. I'd be able to work my (two) part-time jobs, play one more summer in Alaska, and pack to move with no trouble. Boy, oh boy did I think wrongly about that one!

Fortunately, it rained all summer - not wonderful for going out and exploring my favorite places but great for clearing out excess stuff and packing. My goal was to only take the essentials, those things that really meant something or would not be easily replaceable in Las Vegas. I posted a lot of things on Marketplace, donated a lot, and made several dump runs. I whittled a three-bedroom house into two UHaul pods. I am starting from scratch with a plan and a purpose!

My first task was finding a good church. Have you ever looked for a good church in a city of 3 million people? It is not easy. I looked for one that offers an AWANA program, knowing that such a church would have good Bible teaching. I have attended one service and have not found anything that stood out as a red flag. I will attend a four-evening seminar next week and see how the teaching goes. This church offers three Sunday morning services and a Spanish evening service every week and boasts around 3000 members. 

My second task is finding a home in the same community in which my mom lives. It is a nice condo complex, with around 110 units. Each is single story with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The complex has a pool, hot tub, gym, and clubhouse. The area has large, mature trees and great walking paths. Duke is not crazy about the heat but he likes taking walks. I have liked this complex ever since Mom moved in nearly 30 years ago and have dreamed of living here for nearly as long. I need to sell my Alaska home and start working a second part-time job again before they will consider a mortgage. (prayers are coveted!)

I plan on getting my Master's Degree and work in a crisis pregnancy center or a church as a counselor. I hope to do the two of them at the same time. Stay tuned for Part 2, in which driving the Alcan with a friend, a dog, and two cats is described!

Heavenly Father

You are so good to me. You have brought me through

so much as I have grown and learned to really trust You. The 

adventure you have laid out for me is exciting and frightening at the same time.

You have taught me to step out of my comfort zone and into

Your comforting arms.

You have brought the right people into my life at the right time. 

You have given me a great family and amazing friends. You have 

taught me to acknowledge You in all things, to trust You in all things, 

and to turn to you in all things.

I love you, Lord Jesus. It is in Your precious name I pray,

Amen  

Drowning in Snow

That winter, there were more days with snow than not. It seemed every day there was another inch, maybe another foot, but a lot of snow fell at Paradise Lake. We tried to track the accumulated depth, but our measuring table was soon covered.

Jim had to snowshoe in front of our dog team to break trail for them, sometimes both ways when the snow fell inches per hour. We had to pull some of the longer trap lines early because we could not keep up with the snow. Keeping the trails around the cabin open to collect firewood or water was a chore.

Our house looked like a cracker box turned on its side. It was long and straight, with no fancy roof lines or jutting extensions. We had solar panels on our roof, and while the roof was not flat, it did not have a steep pitch either. The roof had to be shoveled off - often. That was my job.

Early in the season, it was easy; the snow would slide off the metal roof under its own weight. Removing a foot or more was a little more challenging; I had to get on top with a shovel, but the snow would slide off. Our house was built on a slight slope, so the front eave was 15 feet or more off the ground. However, the back was only about 7 or 8 feet off the ground. The job became more challenging by Thanksgiving when the accumulation of snow was up to the back eave of the house. The windows were long buried, and the back of the house was perpetually dark. The snow no longer had an easy path to follow, and I was no longer breaking apart slabs of snow to slide. I was shoveling snow onto an ever-growing pile. Soon I was shoveling snow over my head.

It was too much; the burden was too great. I could no longer pull my own weight and needed help. Even though Jim was exhausted from his own battles with the snow we pulled together, we moved some of the snow away from the house. I still had a lot of snow to shovel, but there was no longer a danger of losing the roof to the snow load.

Jim cut a tree near the house that winter. He cut it even with the snow line at the time. Later, when all the snow had melted, and summer was again upon us, the stump was over 15 feet tall. We had a lot of snow that year.

That season seemed like a never-ending cycle of waking up, digging or snow-showing trails, doing chores, and collapsing into bed. There was no time or energy left for leisure or relaxation; rest was a dream.

Sometimes we seem caught in a rut of work, chores, sleep, repeat. How do we manage without getting burned out or snapping at those we love? Jesus told us in Matthew 11:28 to come to Him all who are weary and burdened; He will give you rest. Paul described several times when he did not want to be a burden to those to whom he was writing. Yet he told the Galatians to “bear one another’s burdens, thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2).

What does bearing burdens look like in a practical world? It begins with prayer. Pray for one another. Yes, prayer is immensely practical! When we pray, we are bringing our burdens, or those of others, to the foot of the throne of God. We are laying them at the feet of the One who gives us strength, peace, and comfort. God will also tell us how to physically help.

Next, find out what is needed. You might have to ask a third party. Ask the burdened one if you can help meet their need by (name something). Do not ask how you can help; often, you will be met with, “Nothing – I am OK.”

Third, “It is more blessed to give than receive” also speaks to helping others. Helping or service is one of the gifts of the Spirit. It does not speak only to helping at the church building but helps those who make up the church. We are one family, and families do for one another.

Finally, if you have burdens, let people know! It is wise to admit it and accept help if you are burdened. Rugged individualism does not have a place in giving or receiving Christian service.

Heavenly Father,

You are our Help in time of need.

Remind us, Lord, that coming to You should not be the last resort

But the first cry of a life in need.

When the snow is overwhelming

And never seems to end

When life has stopped sliding easily and

We begin to dig,

Remind us, Lord, that we are a  family.

And it is right and good to help the family.

Remind us, Lord, that we are a family

And it is OK to ask family for help

When we are drowning in the busyness of life

And simply need help, remind us, Lord.

In Christ alone, and in Jesus’ name, we pray,

Amen

Obedience

 Why is it so difficult for some of us to be obedient? Whether to parents, supervisors, and (maybe especially) God, obeying has always been difficult for me. Do not get me wrong. I think rules and laws are essential; there must be order to live in a free society. Without rules and laws, there is only chaos. I suppose I look for logic and reason behind the rules and laws.

Matthew tells a parable of two sons who had difficulty obeying their father’s will. The father asked the first son to work the vineyard, and the son flat-out said no. So the father went to the second son with the same request, and this son said sure, I’ll go. However, the second son did not go. Perhaps he was caught up in another activity and forgot; maybe he was just trying to appease his father, we are not told. We are not told how long it took for the first son to obey, but he had a change of heart and went to work. Which obeyed the father? The first, of course. (Matt. 21:28-32).

When I became a Christian in February 1986, I lived in the Bush. I had no church, no pastor, and no understanding of obedience to God. For a while, I even thought I had to become Jewish and obey all the Laws of Moses. I was raised in a denomination that baptizes infants. It seemed fitting to me, so I did not think anything more about baptism for years.

We began attending a Baptist church when we moved onto the road system. The pastor asked if I had been baptized. I answered yes, but…He stopped me, saying he did not need the details. A few years later, a second pastor asked the same question with the same result. As I grew in my faith and learned more about God and what the Bible said, I began understanding the difference between my infant baptism and baptism after coming to faith. I know that salvation is in Christ alone, not in Christ and anything else, including baptism.

So what does all of this have to do with anything? I went to school in obedience, knowing a teacher is held to a higher standard (James 3:1). I also know to be obedient, a Christian should be baptized. Why have I put it off? I tell myself it is because I do not want others to think I have been guiding and teaching under false pretenses - that I was not a Christian. I have come to realize that what others think should not sway me from obeying God. I know I have loved, followed, and served Him for over 37 years – more importantly, He has known it. Luke tells us that the angels rejoice over one sinner who repents, not over one who is baptized.

So, I will be baptized sometime in July, fully submerged, symbolizing death, burial, and resurrection and celebrating having become a new creature in Christ Jesus all those years ago. Pray for courage and that I don’t have a panic attack; being fully underwater in a lake, pool, ocean, or baptismal tank is a real fear.

Lord heavenly Father

Thank you for your infinite patience with me

and please forgive my disobedience.

I praise You for Your lovingkindness, Your mercy, and grace.

Always guide my words and actions to bring You

all honor and glory

as I strive to be more obedient.

In Christ alone, and in Jesus’ name, I pray

Amen

Lost Child

Jim and I lived in the Alaska Bush for many years; during that time, my nephews lived with us off and on for months and years at a time.

Geoff and Darren were wild little guys; they made their own fun and did not have too many rules. One rule was that they would not leave our immediate area without an adult. We lived in the wilderness and had wild animals in our yard relatively often. The boys understood from the time they could walk what to do if they saw various animals, including moose and bears. Our “immediate area” was about three acres, primarily covered in Johnson grass which can grow six feet tall. We had some wooded areas and, of course, our homestead in that little three acres. I felt completely safe and secure in knowing that the boys would not be in danger while playing.

One day the boys were outside playing. Jim was scouting hunting locations, and I watched the boys in between chores. It was getting late afternoon, and Geoff came in from playing. I asked where Darren was because they were always together. Geoff had no idea where his little brother was; they had been playing hide-and-seek. We went outside together and hunted and called for Darren for what seemed like hours. By this time, Jim was home, and it had started to rain, but still no sign of Darren. Thankfully, there was also no sign of bears or other animals.

When they were little, we had a dog team, and like most little boys, Geoff and Darren loved to play with the dogs. I looked in the dog yard and did not see him hiding behind any houses, so I kept looking elsewhere. As the rain fell harder, I noticed all the dogs except one had gone into their houses. Now this particular dog was not the brightest bulb in the pack, so I did not think too much of it until it was clear Darren was not in our three acres.

By this time, the dog was soaked; why I wondered, did he not get out of the rain? I went to the dog yard to coax him into his house, and as I looked inside, I saw Darren curled up in the straw like a puppy, sound asleep.

I woke him up and carried him to the house, rejoicing the whole while. This precious child who had been lost was found! He was hiding from his brother and fell asleep quickly as small children are wont to do. Darren did not hear us calling; he had no idea he had been lost or why we were so happy to see him.

How often are we like that with our Heavenly Father? We do not even realize we are lost or headed in the wrong direction. We do not hear His voice or the voices of others trying to find us or call us out of our wanderings. Yet the angels in heaven rejoice when someone comes to repentance - when they are found (Luke 15:7,10).

Luke 15 gives us several examples of rejoicing when something has been found; a sheep, coin, and son. In each of these parables, the seeker did not stop until that which was lost had been found; neither will God throw His hands up and give up on finding the lost.

If God gives you a burden for someone, do not give up. Pray for directions on how to reach them. Look for opportunities to develop a relationship with that person. It could take a little time; it could take years. The timing is God’s; the relationship is yours. It took maybe an hour to find Darren; it took 25 years for me to realize I was lost and God was seeking me.

Heavenly Father, seeker of the lost

I thank you for never giving up on Your children.

The examples you gave us through Dr. Luke-, 

leaving some behind to find the lost

Looking in the darkest corners

Waiting years for repentance

Are awesome reminders that you are patient, not wanting

Anyone to perish, but all come to know You.

Guide me, Lord, as I continue to seek after You.

In Christ alone, and in Whose name I pray.

Amen

Lectio Divina

Last week I mentioned Lectio Divina, a Latin phrase meaning "Holy reading," and received questions about what it is and how to participate. One of the most memorable assignments in my undergraduate studies was a Lectio Divina exercise for my Christian Character Formation class. Lectio is not a quick Bible reading exercise; it is an intentional and prayerful meditation.

Meditation was something I avoided because I associated it with New Age spirituality or practices like crystals and yoga. I had been taught that it was a gateway to opening yourself to demonic forces and should be avoided. I misunderstood the teachings. New Age, crystals, and yoga are gateways, not meditation. Do not misunderstand. I prayerfully studied and read the Bible. I studied commentaries and used Strong's Concordance to find the meaning behind Greek and Hebrew words and phrases. But I had never really meditated on the Word.

How I meditated for that class might not be how you meditate, but the principle is the same. First, I chose a specific passage before I began, Psalm 25 (my favorite). I had read, studied, and memorized parts of this Psalm for years and wanted to focus on an old friend for this assignment. Next, the most considerable challenge I had was finding a place where I could be alone, undisturbed, and comfortable. Even though I live alone, distractions abound at my house. I have several pets, and breaking up disagreements or having a cat in my lap is a constant reality. The day I chose to practice this technique was raining, so my favorite hiking location was also out of the question. One of my friends lives in a very isolated area, and she was out of town. I drove to her house and sat in her driveway, listening to the raindrops play a soothing melody on the roof of my car. I had my Bible, a notebook, and several pens with me so I could take notes and not worry about running out of ink.

I began with prayer; all meditation and study of God's Word should start with prayer. I read the Psalm several times, silently, aloud, prayerfully, joyfully, and beggingly. Sometimes I read the whole passage; other times, only a couple of verses at a time. In between readings, I sat quietly, contemplating what I had read, and allowed the Holy Spirit to work. I wrote in my notes what the Lord laid on my heart as to what the passage meant. 

As I listened to God speak, I realized I did not know what Lovingkindness meant, so I wrote that down to study more at home. Once home, I learned that in the King James Version of the Bible, the word is translated mercy; “…according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness sake, O Lord (Ps. 25:7b KJV). According to Strong’s Concordance (1890 edition), it is more than kindness, more than love; it is the kindness and love only shown by God. Mercy indeed! When meditating, be sure to use your tools and use them in your in-depth study later. Meditation is not the time to distract yourself with study!

Finally, Thank Him for teaching you what He would have you learn from the time you spent together. Before starting this exercise, I did not realize that I was having an issue with trusting the only One who is Trustworthy. When I heard God repeat it several times, I knew the Spirit was trying to teach me that life does not require my manipulation and He does not need my help. It is all about trusting God.

Sometimes it is difficult to see the goodness of God when it seems the world has gone crazy. I learned God is always in control. He alone is trustworthy. Over and over again, He said, “Trust Me.” At times Christians try to help Him. We know He is faithful, but we think maybe we should do something as well. “No, my child, Trust Me.” Yes, God, but what if – “Trust Me!” I could almost hear Him shouting to break through my need for control. Phrases like but and what if are doubt and mistrust. It is easy to say He is trustworthy; it is more difficult to walk in faithful knowledge. 

I found there is no shortcut; meditating on God’s Word is a deliberate process that should never be undertaken lightly. Lectio Divina is not merely reading; it is not studying. Those things are important and should not be neglected. I did much more listening than I did reading or praying (talking to God). The whole process took about an hour and was very well spent. 

While I highly recommend using this technique, please do not add Lectio Divina to a must-do list - a box to be checked off. It may or may not become a regular habit, but it should never become routine. It is a contemplative, deliberate act of personal worship.

Psalm 25 NASB1995 - Prayer for Protection, Guidance and - Bible Gateway

Lord Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Your Word. Thank You for allowing 
us to know You through Your word.
I praise You for Your lovingkindness, Your mercy, and Your grace.
Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the 
God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day. 

In Jesus Holy Name and in Christ alone

Amen