Someone asked
why I called this blog Even So. It comes from a line in one of my
favorite songs; It is Well With my Soul. The writer of the song, Horatio
Spafford, was successful in every material way. He had a successful business and a wonderful family with five children. Tragically, he lost his business in
the Chicago fire the same year his young son died. Later his wife and four
daughters were crossing the Atlantic on a steamship when it sank; all four
girls drowned. He caught the next ship to join his wife, and he penned the song
as he passed the place where his children died.
It would have
been so easy for them to give up. To be angry with God. To wonder why this
tragedy had to strike their family. But they never lost faith; they never
forgot God and His mercy.
After making
bad choices, or tragedy strikes, it is easy to shake my fist and shout at God.
It is simple to wallow in self-pity and ask why me? The only thing that stopped
me from continuing to sink into the depths of depression was knowing that Even
so, God was there.
I do not
pretend to have the answers or explanations for why things happen the way they
do; I know that even though trials will come into my life, I can confidently
say: Even so, it is well with my soul.
The confidence
to say, “Even so” cannot come from within a person. I learned I cannot will
myself to have peace like the river. I cannot change the tragic happenings in
my life. They are there; they are done. Colossians 3:25 tells us that we will
receive the consequences of the actions we have done.
I
can wallow in the tragedy, or I can learn to have peace.
I can lash out at whoever is nearest to
me, or I can learn to have peace.
I can crawl into myself and revel in
the darkness, or I can learn to have peace.
I
can moan and have a long pity party, or I can learn to have peace.
I could not
bear what my tragedy had done to my peace. My idyllic life had been shaken to
the core. It was months before I could sing the song again, longer before I
could sing it without tears. I was adrift on the sea, with no life raft. I had
one constant, One who never left me or abandoned me. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "And the Lord is the one who is going
ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not desert you or abandon you. Do
not fear and do not be dismayed.” I clung to that verse and chose to
believe God has a plan, and He would not leave me.
The Spafford’s
went on to rebuild their family, having three more children. I am putting the
pieces of my life back together, and along with the hymn writer, I have begun
to believe:
Whatever my
lot, Thou has taught me to say; It is well with my soul.
So THIS is the start of your memoirs from Paradise Lake. Interesting how the sequence of certain life events has transpired for you. And continues. God's timing!
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